As everyone knows, Osama Bin Laden has been killed by US forces in Pakistan. There was a fire fight, he was shot in the head, and he was buried at sea within 24 hours, as dictated by Islamic Law.
I find myself conflicted in this situation. I have two sides of me, both equally as passionate.
Side One - Happiness
This man murdered countless innocent people. I think of 9/11, as well as the other terrorist attacks that he had a hand in, and what justice they must feel. I think of how I would feel if Michael or Naomi were murdered in this way - how would I handle it? Would I be happy? Would I feel relief? Or would I just want it to be over? I don't believe in the death penalty, but I am happy that this evil man is no longer among the living.
Side Two - Relief, but sadness
While I feel relief and happiness, I am saddened by how intensly people are celebrating his death. I think it is appropriate for people to say "I'm glad he's gone" blah blah blah, but some of the comments that I hear are shocking, to say the least. For example, "I wanted him tortured, torn apart, burned, and spread amongst a pile of shit" and "Burn in hell" take me aback, to be honest. The intense celebrations in the streets eerily reminded of the middle-eastern countries that had burning flags and dragging bodies through the streets. Now, don't get me wrong, Americans were not doing that...not even close. But mass celebrations of a man's death, no matter how evil, kind of hurt my heart. We, as Americans, are better than that. And, as far as "Burn in hell" is concerned - for those of us who believe in God, heaven, hell, and the second coming, is it right for us to wish this? Are we being hypocritical to not wish that he repented the sins that he committed on earth? What one must remember, if they indeed believe in heaven and hell, is that God states that all sins are created equal, and those who repent will be welcomed into the gates of heaven.
Obviously, none of us knows whether or not he repented, nor will we ever know. However, I don't want him to burn in hell - and I don't want to see anyone burn in hell. I want to see all people forgiven of their sins, and to experience heaven, if there indeed is one. (That's a bit of my cynical side coming out - please forgive my questioning of heaven and hell in the first place).
MLK, Jr. once made this statement (Update: I found out that MLK, Jr. actually didn't say this, but I like it anyway, so there.):
"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."— Martin Luther King Jr.
I feel that this is a good reminder for us all. After internal reflection, I have decided that I am relieved, and part of me happy to hear of his death - not for revenge, but to breath a little easier at night. Will this end all terrorism? Of course not - but it sends the message that America will not be taken down by cowards who use fear to make a point.
I encourage all, no matter what walk of life, to push down their hatred for this man, and for all who kill out of hatred, spite, etc. Be relieved that he's gone, but don't let hate consume you. Life is too short for that, and I want light and love in this world, especially for my daughter.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
The Realities of Parenting
Recently, I've started to look at my kid and think, "Who said you could grow up so fast?"
People can tell you all kinds of things about parenting - they grow up so fast, you'll never get any sleep, blah blah blah. I knew most of these things, but you don't realize how much it affects your life until it actually happens.
When Naomi was first born, it was difficult for Michael and I. I feel comfortable discussing that with the world because I think that it's important to communicate what really goes on "behind the scenes" of parenthood. It's not all unicorns and rainbows, people.
Marriage becomes difficult. All those conversations about how to raise a child are revisited, because once the kid gets here, opinions can change. The amount of hormones that are in your system can cause Postpartum Depression (PPD), which I struggled with. Even that topic is taboo, and it's taken over a year to feel more "normal". There are days that you just want to say "Please, just stop f*cking crying", then feeling guilty that you thought about that regarding your beautiful, loving kid.
These are just a few realities of parenting. We are learning something new every day. The newest thing? Trying to curb her stubbornness. For a short time, we would tap her hand when she would feed the dog - but I realized that one of my big parenting "no-nos" is to use spanking, smacking, hitting, etc. to make a point. Violence with anyone, especially children, is unacceptable in our house. What continues to irk me, though, is that people say things like "You just wait!" No, my mind is pretty much made up about this topic. If a parent chooses to discipline in that way, fine - it's just not for us. My sister helped remind me of that, and though it was hard to face that we were going down a path that we both wanted to avoid, change needed to be made.
That's another thing about parenting - it is important to recognize that mistakes are going to be made. We can't change the past, but we can change the future. I have to remind myself on a daily basis that I am human, and we've never done this before. We are simply learning.
So, our marriage experienced some tough times, I dealt with PPD, and I struggle with being a parent every day. That makes us human, and THAT, my friends, is the reality of parenting. Now, Michael and I are stronger than ever, and I am so thankful to have such a strong partner in my husband and best friend. I've overcome PPD, and I aim to make it less "taboo". Soon, in my huge amount of time, I want to provide information via my blog about PPD. And, I remind myself how freaking lucky I am to have a blessed and happy life, despite the daily challenges of parenthood. It's so worth it.
My hope for my family is that we keep things in perspective, and continue to thank God that we have been so blessed. Things may be hard sometimes, but Michael and Naomi make me strong. :)
Naomi update: She is so darn stubborn - but is so cute about it, so I have to keep from laughing! :) Michael and I take turns trying to redirect her and giggle. I sometimes I say things like, "Ok, come on drama" when she's having a meltdown. When I don't give her the attention she wants when she is having said meltdown, she stops and goes back to playing. She's such a ham! She's almost walking by herself, and her hugs and kisses make my heart melt. I am so lucky to be her Mom.
People can tell you all kinds of things about parenting - they grow up so fast, you'll never get any sleep, blah blah blah. I knew most of these things, but you don't realize how much it affects your life until it actually happens.
When Naomi was first born, it was difficult for Michael and I. I feel comfortable discussing that with the world because I think that it's important to communicate what really goes on "behind the scenes" of parenthood. It's not all unicorns and rainbows, people.
Marriage becomes difficult. All those conversations about how to raise a child are revisited, because once the kid gets here, opinions can change. The amount of hormones that are in your system can cause Postpartum Depression (PPD), which I struggled with. Even that topic is taboo, and it's taken over a year to feel more "normal". There are days that you just want to say "Please, just stop f*cking crying", then feeling guilty that you thought about that regarding your beautiful, loving kid.
These are just a few realities of parenting. We are learning something new every day. The newest thing? Trying to curb her stubbornness. For a short time, we would tap her hand when she would feed the dog - but I realized that one of my big parenting "no-nos" is to use spanking, smacking, hitting, etc. to make a point. Violence with anyone, especially children, is unacceptable in our house. What continues to irk me, though, is that people say things like "You just wait!" No, my mind is pretty much made up about this topic. If a parent chooses to discipline in that way, fine - it's just not for us. My sister helped remind me of that, and though it was hard to face that we were going down a path that we both wanted to avoid, change needed to be made.
That's another thing about parenting - it is important to recognize that mistakes are going to be made. We can't change the past, but we can change the future. I have to remind myself on a daily basis that I am human, and we've never done this before. We are simply learning.
So, our marriage experienced some tough times, I dealt with PPD, and I struggle with being a parent every day. That makes us human, and THAT, my friends, is the reality of parenting. Now, Michael and I are stronger than ever, and I am so thankful to have such a strong partner in my husband and best friend. I've overcome PPD, and I aim to make it less "taboo". Soon, in my huge amount of time, I want to provide information via my blog about PPD. And, I remind myself how freaking lucky I am to have a blessed and happy life, despite the daily challenges of parenthood. It's so worth it.
My hope for my family is that we keep things in perspective, and continue to thank God that we have been so blessed. Things may be hard sometimes, but Michael and Naomi make me strong. :)
Naomi update: She is so darn stubborn - but is so cute about it, so I have to keep from laughing! :) Michael and I take turns trying to redirect her and giggle. I sometimes I say things like, "Ok, come on drama" when she's having a meltdown. When I don't give her the attention she wants when she is having said meltdown, she stops and goes back to playing. She's such a ham! She's almost walking by herself, and her hugs and kisses make my heart melt. I am so lucky to be her Mom.
Friday, April 8, 2011
I will thwart you, food!
I'm not going to lie, I love food. I love the way it tastes, I love making it, I love the way it makes me feel.
Well, maybe not that last part.
I have a problem with moderation, in pretty much all aspects of my life. I'm a very "all or nothing" person. This includes food. I eat food when I'm experiencing an emotion, I eat food when I'm bored, I eat food to celebrate things.
Why am I being so open and honest about this? It's because as much as I say "I'm going to work out!!", it lasts for 2.2 seconds, and then I go on a binge again. Being vocal about my weight loss journey will **hopefully** assist with this.
I've become ashamed with how I look and feel. I've noticed that people look at me differently now. People look at me when I am eating. People look at me if I am walking slower. You may say "Megan, it's all in your head, you're not that bad". Sure, it may be in my head, but yes, it is that bad. I don't want to be that mother who can't play with her kid because she has an emotional connection to food. I don't want to be the wife who would rather veg in front of the TV instead of going out for a healthy date. I don't want to be the friend who always gets a ton of food, and eats it all without batting an eye.
I feel like I am concerning my friends and family with my weight gain, and I am now looking to do something about it - for real. What am I doing? What I should have been doing all along - eating right and being active. That's the right way to do it - not a lose-weight-quick fad. How am I going to stay on track? I am going to record what I eat, and stay under a certain calorie amount. I'm going to be active, and I've signed up for a 5K in May. Yeah, I'll probably walk the majority of it, but at least I am doing it.
I am officially giving the world permission to keep me accountable - if you see me eating something unhealthy, ask me how my weight loss journey is going. I won't get offended - if I want to continue to eat my Taco Bell, though, I should be able to vocalize what exactly I will be doing to work off the extra calories.
It's about good decisions, and getting healthy. I am tired of feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, and not feeling like myself.
So, be honest with me folks, as I work to thwart the monster that is food. I will post updates when I can - I hope I can actually stick with it this time.
Friday, March 25, 2011
1 year!
I am happy to report that I have been officially not pregnant for the past year - some may see that as ::gasp:: rude, but for me, pregnancy was hell on earth.
The outcome, however, was totally worth it. Naomi is now 1, and is cute, funny, stubborn, entertaining, and loving. She loves bath time, can now say "Dah" (dog), likes to feed the "Dah", and loves music. Although we wish we could have been with our extended family, but we had a nice little party for her here in Vegas. :-) She's pretty great.
But I still hated being pregnant. Just in case anyone forgot.
Will post pictures soon! I'm ending this blog post so I can start another one. That's how I roll.
The outcome, however, was totally worth it. Naomi is now 1, and is cute, funny, stubborn, entertaining, and loving. She loves bath time, can now say "Dah" (dog), likes to feed the "Dah", and loves music. Although we wish we could have been with our extended family, but we had a nice little party for her here in Vegas. :-) She's pretty great.
But I still hated being pregnant. Just in case anyone forgot.
Will post pictures soon! I'm ending this blog post so I can start another one. That's how I roll.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Changing Table Showdown
Michael says I've gotten pretty feminist since becoming a mother. I'm not sure if I've become 'more' of a feminist, but maybe I've become more aware of how stupid our society is.
So today, I bring you my half-hearted I'm-really-too-busy-to complete-a-real-research study on the lack of diaper changing tables in MALE RESTROOMS.
@!&$@(*#
Dear World, just because I have a vagina and breasts doesn't mean that I am the one that must lug my 24 pounder into the Women's Restroom, followed by the horrors of changing the baby in the bathroom. For those of you who have yet to experience it, let me walk you through it:
Imagine yourself at a restaurant.
You're at the table, waiting to be served, and your little ball of cuteness makes the red face that can only read "I'm workin' on a big one, folks!". You and your partner look at one another, and a showdown happens. In the middle of the restaurant, everything stops...a tumbleweed crosses the table along with the whistling song that always goes with the western showdowns.
After a short bickering session, the male in the relationship often wins the "Who's going to take the pooper" to the changing table - because he has a wiener. Awesome. So you lug your kid on one hip, your diaper bag on the other, and your purse too, if you have one, because you know you can't always count on Mr. Wonderful to be cognisant enough to keep his eye on it. ::facepalm::
Lug kid to bathroom. Wait in line for 2 other families. Put the liner down. Buckle her in. Make cute faces while cringing and screaming inside because of the dried poop that you see on the cover of the table (thankfully protected by the liner). Kiddo tried to roll off, but is held on by buckle. Buckle pisses her off, so she throws a fit. Poop gets on her foot, which gets on my shirt. Diaper goes on, clothes go on, we go back to the table, baby is happy, Daddy is happy, and Mamma gets crapped all over. YAY!
Yes, an extreme story - but changing your kid in a public restroom is a PAIN, and I just wish that we could share the responsibility with our male counterparts. I started to count how many stores had male vs. female changing stations, but then got tired of that game and just decided to write about it without any hard data. It's not like it's a research paper.
Additionally, if an establishment welcomes families, why would you not have a diaper changing station in your bathroom? REALLY? That was a huge pain in the butt, thank you, Sushi Place. You totally made my Friday night last week.
So, Mammas, before you automatically walk into the bathroom with your child to change him/her, 1 - look for a family bathroom (YAY!) and 2 - hand that kid over to the daddy, because he should have to check for the changing table possibilities too.
I did this to Michael the other day at Costco - not only did she have a very dirty diaper, the bathroom was also disgusting (or so I heard). I got lots of thank you's that day for taking care of her in public.
VINDICATION!
Naomi Update:
Crawling monster! She ended up underneath our Queen bed - don't ask me how. Once I knew she was ok, I laughed, and so did she. It was an adventure. She also found the dog's water bowl - gross. She's looking more and more like me every day, which is really scary for me!
So today, I bring you my half-hearted I'm-really-too-busy-to complete-a-real-research study on the lack of diaper changing tables in MALE RESTROOMS.
@!&$@(*#
Dear World, just because I have a vagina and breasts doesn't mean that I am the one that must lug my 24 pounder into the Women's Restroom, followed by the horrors of changing the baby in the bathroom. For those of you who have yet to experience it, let me walk you through it:
Imagine yourself at a restaurant.
You're at the table, waiting to be served, and your little ball of cuteness makes the red face that can only read "I'm workin' on a big one, folks!". You and your partner look at one another, and a showdown happens. In the middle of the restaurant, everything stops...a tumbleweed crosses the table along with the whistling song that always goes with the western showdowns.
After a short bickering session, the male in the relationship often wins the "Who's going to take the pooper" to the changing table - because he has a wiener. Awesome. So you lug your kid on one hip, your diaper bag on the other, and your purse too, if you have one, because you know you can't always count on Mr. Wonderful to be cognisant enough to keep his eye on it. ::facepalm::
Lug kid to bathroom. Wait in line for 2 other families. Put the liner down. Buckle her in. Make cute faces while cringing and screaming inside because of the dried poop that you see on the cover of the table (thankfully protected by the liner). Kiddo tried to roll off, but is held on by buckle. Buckle pisses her off, so she throws a fit. Poop gets on her foot, which gets on my shirt. Diaper goes on, clothes go on, we go back to the table, baby is happy, Daddy is happy, and Mamma gets crapped all over. YAY!
Yes, an extreme story - but changing your kid in a public restroom is a PAIN, and I just wish that we could share the responsibility with our male counterparts. I started to count how many stores had male vs. female changing stations, but then got tired of that game and just decided to write about it without any hard data. It's not like it's a research paper.
Additionally, if an establishment welcomes families, why would you not have a diaper changing station in your bathroom? REALLY? That was a huge pain in the butt, thank you, Sushi Place. You totally made my Friday night last week.
So, Mammas, before you automatically walk into the bathroom with your child to change him/her, 1 - look for a family bathroom (YAY!) and 2 - hand that kid over to the daddy, because he should have to check for the changing table possibilities too.
I did this to Michael the other day at Costco - not only did she have a very dirty diaper, the bathroom was also disgusting (or so I heard). I got lots of thank you's that day for taking care of her in public.
VINDICATION!
Naomi Update:
Crawling monster! She ended up underneath our Queen bed - don't ask me how. Once I knew she was ok, I laughed, and so did she. It was an adventure. She also found the dog's water bowl - gross. She's looking more and more like me every day, which is really scary for me!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
This Week = Fail
As most people know, I've been in the hospital for 5 days. That's right, 5 days. I suppose I will give you the short, sweet, condensed version. You don't need to know all of the annoying bits and pieces, like staring at the wall, being closed in a room, and having everyone you see wearing a mask. Yay!
Here's what happened:
Tuesday, November 2nd
Terrible headache began around 10 a.m. Meds did not help.
Went to hair appointment to find out that it was LAST Tuesday at 2 p.m. Damn. Head is hurting so bad I can't see. I go vote. I can barely make it home, because the sun is hurting my eyes. I thought it was a migraine. I begin to dry heave when I get in the door (which is not fun with a terrible headache).
Try to sleep. Chills. Wake up with 102.5 fever.
Michael gets home, tries to take care of me. Headache is the worst I have ever, ever had. I can't move my head in any direction, my neck is killing me, and tears are rolling down my face. It was worse than childbirth.
Wednesday, November 3rd
Headache there when I wake up, but feels better. Fever broke the night before. Called Mom, told her I was feeling better. Yay. 11 a.m., game over - called Michael to take me to Urgent Care.
Urgent Care turned into the ER at Summerlin. The doctor immediately said Meningitis, and ordered a CT scan and Lumbar Puncture (spinal tap). I passed out and started semi-convulsing, so they weren't able to get anything out. I was admitted.
Thursday - Sunday, November 4 - 7th
Procedures, pokes, prods, doctors, nurses, lack of sleep, peeing a lot, and not seeing anyone. Quarantine for 5 days, where everyone had to wear masks and gloves, including my own family. The door had to be shut at all times, and people were in and out of my room 6 times a night taking my blood and vitals.
So, to summarize:
Total Doctors: Neurologist (with Nurse Practitioner), General doctor, Infectious Disease doctor.
Total Days in Hospital: 6 days, 5 nights
Total Days with a migraine: 4 (3 days with pain meds)
Total Procedures: 1 CT scan, 3 total Lumbar Punctures (spinal tap), 2 MRI's, 6 total IV's, 2 swollen wrists, 19 individual needle pricks (from drawing blood), 4 days of receiving the strongest antibiotics available, potassium drip ,and lots of pain medications.
Final Verdict: Viral Meningitis, caused by an unknown virus, and complicated by an atypical migraine. I am not longer contagious. I should not be taking ibuprofen in the future, as the Infectious Disease doc says it made my condition worse. Migraine medicines have been prescribed as a preventative measure against future apocalyptic migraines like the one I experienced.
I am still not 100%, so I am not sure if I am going to work this week. I already had Thursday and Friday off, but I may just go in for a couple of hours on Wednesday. We'll see how I feel, and what my discharge instructions are.
To conclude, this whole thing sucked. I tried to stay positive, but getting my spine poked, my brain looked at, and my skin assaulted isn't fun, not to mention that I haven't seen Naomi in a week. The most difficult thing in this whole experience is not being able to see her. It really kind of ripped me apart.
Thank you to all who sent positive thoughts my way - I definitely felt the love. Special thanks to my family for wanting to kick the hospital staff that didn't know how to communicate, and especially my Mom who made an emergency trip from Illinois to stay until the end of this coming week. We couldn't have done this without her.
I'm looking forward to being back to normal. In the meantime, I'm going to go rest. I've got a life to live.
Here's what happened:
Tuesday, November 2nd
Terrible headache began around 10 a.m. Meds did not help.
Went to hair appointment to find out that it was LAST Tuesday at 2 p.m. Damn. Head is hurting so bad I can't see. I go vote. I can barely make it home, because the sun is hurting my eyes. I thought it was a migraine. I begin to dry heave when I get in the door (which is not fun with a terrible headache).
Try to sleep. Chills. Wake up with 102.5 fever.
Michael gets home, tries to take care of me. Headache is the worst I have ever, ever had. I can't move my head in any direction, my neck is killing me, and tears are rolling down my face. It was worse than childbirth.
Wednesday, November 3rd
Headache there when I wake up, but feels better. Fever broke the night before. Called Mom, told her I was feeling better. Yay. 11 a.m., game over - called Michael to take me to Urgent Care.
Urgent Care turned into the ER at Summerlin. The doctor immediately said Meningitis, and ordered a CT scan and Lumbar Puncture (spinal tap). I passed out and started semi-convulsing, so they weren't able to get anything out. I was admitted.
Thursday - Sunday, November 4 - 7th
Procedures, pokes, prods, doctors, nurses, lack of sleep, peeing a lot, and not seeing anyone. Quarantine for 5 days, where everyone had to wear masks and gloves, including my own family. The door had to be shut at all times, and people were in and out of my room 6 times a night taking my blood and vitals.
So, to summarize:
Total Doctors: Neurologist (with Nurse Practitioner), General doctor, Infectious Disease doctor.
Total Days in Hospital: 6 days, 5 nights
Total Days with a migraine: 4 (3 days with pain meds)
Total Procedures: 1 CT scan, 3 total Lumbar Punctures (spinal tap), 2 MRI's, 6 total IV's, 2 swollen wrists, 19 individual needle pricks (from drawing blood), 4 days of receiving the strongest antibiotics available, potassium drip ,and lots of pain medications.
Final Verdict: Viral Meningitis, caused by an unknown virus, and complicated by an atypical migraine. I am not longer contagious. I should not be taking ibuprofen in the future, as the Infectious Disease doc says it made my condition worse. Migraine medicines have been prescribed as a preventative measure against future apocalyptic migraines like the one I experienced.
I am still not 100%, so I am not sure if I am going to work this week. I already had Thursday and Friday off, but I may just go in for a couple of hours on Wednesday. We'll see how I feel, and what my discharge instructions are.
To conclude, this whole thing sucked. I tried to stay positive, but getting my spine poked, my brain looked at, and my skin assaulted isn't fun, not to mention that I haven't seen Naomi in a week. The most difficult thing in this whole experience is not being able to see her. It really kind of ripped me apart.
Thank you to all who sent positive thoughts my way - I definitely felt the love. Special thanks to my family for wanting to kick the hospital staff that didn't know how to communicate, and especially my Mom who made an emergency trip from Illinois to stay until the end of this coming week. We couldn't have done this without her.
I'm looking forward to being back to normal. In the meantime, I'm going to go rest. I've got a life to live.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Decisions, Decisions
Upon our return to IL last month, Michael and I started talking about our wishes to move back to the Midwest. We said, hey - let's save money, quit our jobs, move across the country, find a new place to live, new jobs, new childcare, and all that fun stuff. YAY!
As much as we would love to come back...I don't know if that is possible right now. Yeah, we're putting job feelers out right now, but when there are 200 people applying for one position, what is the likelihood of getting said position?
On top of all of that, let's be honest. We both have great paying jobs - Michael loves his, and I at least like the people I work with. So it doesn't challenge me in the least - big deal. They are paying me money to do things that are easy to me. About a million people in this city would gladly take over for me, so I need to be thankful for what I have. We love our daycare, and we have some great friends.
Our biggest thing is that we miss our family so, so much - which is why we seem to have this same conversation every time we go home. The grass is always greener on the other side. Ok, say we move - yeah, we are closer to home, but why take a chance of getting a job that pays less, or that we are less happy in? What about the stress of moving across the country again, only this time with a 7 month old and a dog?
On the other hand, if we stay, we need to get a house. The housing market is great to buy right now, but not to sell. What if we don't stay for more than 2 years? Do we still leave, and try to sell? What about trying to rent it out via a management company? But won't EVERYONE be trying to do that? However, we need to get a house because I am not going to continue paying $1050 in rent for a two bedroom apartment when we could get a three bedroom two bath 1400 square foot house for $90,000 in a good part of town. I'm just not going to do it.
We are confused on where to go next. On one hand, we leave, spend a ton of money that we've saved up to buy a house to move, get lower paying jobs, but live closer to home. On the other hand, stay in a city that is sinking faster than the Titantic, but have the money to put down on a dirt cheap (but good) starter house, while being away from family. Plus, both of our jobs seem pretty darn secure at the moment.
So, the next few months will be telling. Our lease ends next August - at that time, we are either moving back to the Midwest, or buying a house and settling down here for a few more years. We'll be looking for a house in Nevada, and jobs in the Midwest - all at the same time. Either way we go, it's a gamble.
Being an adult sucks.
As much as we would love to come back...I don't know if that is possible right now. Yeah, we're putting job feelers out right now, but when there are 200 people applying for one position, what is the likelihood of getting said position?
On top of all of that, let's be honest. We both have great paying jobs - Michael loves his, and I at least like the people I work with. So it doesn't challenge me in the least - big deal. They are paying me money to do things that are easy to me. About a million people in this city would gladly take over for me, so I need to be thankful for what I have. We love our daycare, and we have some great friends.
Our biggest thing is that we miss our family so, so much - which is why we seem to have this same conversation every time we go home. The grass is always greener on the other side. Ok, say we move - yeah, we are closer to home, but why take a chance of getting a job that pays less, or that we are less happy in? What about the stress of moving across the country again, only this time with a 7 month old and a dog?
On the other hand, if we stay, we need to get a house. The housing market is great to buy right now, but not to sell. What if we don't stay for more than 2 years? Do we still leave, and try to sell? What about trying to rent it out via a management company? But won't EVERYONE be trying to do that? However, we need to get a house because I am not going to continue paying $1050 in rent for a two bedroom apartment when we could get a three bedroom two bath 1400 square foot house for $90,000 in a good part of town. I'm just not going to do it.
We are confused on where to go next. On one hand, we leave, spend a ton of money that we've saved up to buy a house to move, get lower paying jobs, but live closer to home. On the other hand, stay in a city that is sinking faster than the Titantic, but have the money to put down on a dirt cheap (but good) starter house, while being away from family. Plus, both of our jobs seem pretty darn secure at the moment.
So, the next few months will be telling. Our lease ends next August - at that time, we are either moving back to the Midwest, or buying a house and settling down here for a few more years. We'll be looking for a house in Nevada, and jobs in the Midwest - all at the same time. Either way we go, it's a gamble.
Being an adult sucks.
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