The Realities of Parenting

Recently, I've started to look at my kid and think, "Who said you could grow up so fast?"

People can tell you all kinds of things about parenting - they grow up so fast, you'll never get any sleep, blah blah blah.  I knew most of these things, but you don't realize how much it affects your life until it actually happens.

When Naomi was first born, it was difficult for Michael and I.  I feel comfortable discussing that with the world because I think that it's important to communicate what really goes on "behind the scenes" of parenthood.  It's not all unicorns and rainbows, people.

Marriage becomes difficult.  All those conversations about how to raise a child are revisited, because once the kid gets here, opinions can change.  The amount of hormones that are in your system can cause Postpartum Depression (PPD), which I struggled with.  Even that topic is taboo, and it's taken over a year to feel more "normal".  There are days that you just want to say "Please, just stop f*cking crying", then feeling guilty that you thought about that regarding your beautiful, loving kid.

These are just a few realities of parenting.  We are learning something new every day.  The newest thing?  Trying to curb her stubbornness.  For a short time, we would tap her hand when she would feed the dog - but I realized that one of my big parenting "no-nos" is to use spanking, smacking, hitting, etc. to make a point.  Violence with anyone, especially children, is unacceptable in our house.  What continues to irk me, though, is that people say things like "You just wait!"  No, my mind is pretty much made up about this topic.  If a parent chooses to discipline in that way, fine - it's just not for us.  My sister helped remind me of that, and though it was hard to face that we were going down a path that we both wanted to avoid, change needed to be made.

That's another thing about parenting - it is important to recognize that mistakes are going to be made.  We can't change the past, but we can change the future.  I have to remind myself on a daily basis that I am human, and we've never done this before.  We are simply learning.

So, our marriage experienced some tough times, I dealt with PPD, and I struggle with being a parent every day.  That makes us human, and THAT, my friends, is the reality of parenting.  Now, Michael and I are stronger than ever, and I am so thankful to have such a strong partner in my husband and best friend.  I've overcome PPD, and I aim to make it less "taboo".  Soon, in my huge amount of time, I want to provide information via my blog about PPD.  And, I remind myself how freaking lucky I am to have a blessed and happy life, despite the daily challenges of parenthood.  It's so worth it.

My hope for my family is that we keep things in perspective, and continue to thank God that we have been so blessed.  Things may be hard sometimes, but Michael and Naomi make me strong.  :)

Naomi update: She is so darn stubborn - but is so cute about it, so I have to keep from laughing!  :)  Michael and I take turns trying to redirect her and giggle.  I sometimes I say things like, "Ok, come on drama" when she's having a meltdown.  When I don't give her the attention she wants when she is having said meltdown, she stops and goes back to playing.  She's such a ham!  She's almost walking by herself, and her hugs and kisses make my heart melt.  I am so lucky to be her Mom.

Changing Table Showdown

Michael says I've gotten pretty feminist since becoming a mother.  I'm not sure if I've become 'more' of a feminist, but maybe I've become more aware of how stupid our society is.

So today, I bring you my half-hearted I'm-really-too-busy-to complete-a-real-research study on the lack of diaper changing tables in MALE RESTROOMS.

@!&$@(*#

Dear World, just because I have a vagina and breasts doesn't mean that I am the one that must lug my 24 pounder into the Women's Restroom, followed by the horrors of changing the baby in the bathroom.  For those of you who have yet to experience it, let me walk you through it:

Imagine yourself at a restaurant.

You're at the table, waiting to be served, and your little ball of cuteness makes the red face that can only read "I'm workin' on a big one, folks!".  You and your partner look at one another, and a showdown happens.  In the middle of the restaurant, everything stops...a tumbleweed crosses the table along with the whistling song that always goes with the western showdowns. 

After a short bickering session, the male in the relationship often wins the "Who's going to take the pooper" to the changing table - because he has a wiener.  Awesome.  So you lug your kid on one hip, your diaper bag on the other, and your purse too, if you have one, because you know you can't always count on Mr. Wonderful to be cognisant enough to keep his eye on it.  ::facepalm::

Lug kid to bathroom.  Wait in line for 2 other families.  Put the liner down.  Buckle her in.  Make cute faces while cringing and screaming inside because of the dried poop that you see on the cover of the table (thankfully protected by the liner).  Kiddo tried to roll off, but is held on by buckle.  Buckle pisses her off, so she throws a fit.  Poop gets on her foot, which gets on my shirt.  Diaper goes on, clothes go on, we go back to the table, baby is happy, Daddy is happy, and Mamma gets crapped all over.  YAY!

Yes, an extreme story - but changing your kid in a public restroom is a PAIN, and I just wish that we could share the responsibility with our male counterparts.  I started to count how many stores had male vs. female changing stations, but then got tired of that game and just decided to write about it without any hard data.  It's not like it's a research paper.

Additionally, if an establishment welcomes families, why would you not have a diaper changing station in your bathroom?  REALLY?  That was a huge pain in the butt, thank you, Sushi Place.  You totally made my Friday night last week.

So, Mammas, before you automatically walk into the bathroom with your child to change him/her, 1 - look for a family bathroom (YAY!) and 2 - hand that kid over to the daddy, because he should have to check for the changing table possibilities too.

I did this to Michael the other day at Costco - not only did she have a very dirty diaper, the bathroom was also disgusting (or so I heard).  I got lots of thank you's that day for taking care of her in public. 

VINDICATION! 



Naomi Update:
Crawling monster!  She ended up underneath our Queen bed - don't ask me how.  Once I knew she was ok, I laughed, and so did she.  It was an adventure.  She also found the dog's water bowl - gross.  She's looking more and more like me every day, which is really scary for me!

And We're Back to School!

The school year has finally hit, and the extra traffic pisses me off.  First, I don't care that you are 12 years old and have a BMW.  Please stay off my ass as we drive into the parking garage.  And, yes, I see that you, a student, parked in a staff parking spot.  I want to punch you in the face.

Now that's out of the way.  Good. 

I really, really like working with students - for the most part.  So many students that I have worked with over the last few months have been kind, thankful, and work hard.  Of course, they are overshadowed by a-holes who yell at me because they have to pay out of state tuition.  First, don't get pissed at me because you assume that since you moved here, you are suddenly entitled to in state tuition.  It doesn't work that way, princess.  Second, don't have your parents call me because they will "talk me into it".  Please.  Do your own talking. 

While I like working with students, those with an elitist attitude makes me want to put a fork in my eye.  My job is not to fix everything for you.  My job is to help you succeed by giving you resources across campus.  If I can, I'll make phone calls on your behalf - but not if you are giving me attitude.  I'm sorry that you dropped your class after the drop date.  I'm sorry you have to pay for it now, and get a W on your transcript.  BUT, you are an ADULT.  If you could act like one, and familiarize yourself with policies that are clearly posted, it would make everyone's life easier.

I'm frustrated at work.  Obviously.  But, each day, you have to get up, and say "I'm going to have a good attitude today.  How am I going to make this day great?".  When I don't feel that way in the morning, I might as well take a personal day, because me being there wouldn't be fun for anyone.  Luckily, I don't hit those days very often.  It's all good, though - I have a job that pays pretty well, I like who I work with (for the most part), and they are flexible when Naomi is sick.  These are all good things, and I need to remember that each day.

Umm, what else?  Naomi is about to roll over - but she's taking her sweet time.  We started implementing rice cereal 3 times a week at night so she can get used to it.  She hates it, and spits it out.  It was cute at first - seriously - but I can see the process frustrating me in the future.  It's one of those things that I have to take a deep breath and remember that these moments won't last forever, and I will miss them one day.

The further I get into motherhood, the more I get pissed off about people making it sound like it's all about unicorns farting rainbows.  I know I've been through this before - I just felt like saying it again.  Yep, I can do that.  It's my blog.  Ha.

Random thoughts for the week:

1. Has anyone else noticed that America's Got Talent has been going on way too long?  Choose a winner, thanks.

2. I started classes for a Mental Health and Developmental Disability certification at CSN this week.  All my courses are online, so yay! 

3. Along with #2, I decided about 6 months ago that I am going to go back to get to school for my Masters in Social Work.  I can go half time while working so I can get it 70% off (YES please).  I won't start for a couple more years, so in the meantime, I'm getting a certification or an AA degree (I know, I did it backwards - BA, Masters, then AA.  Whatever.)

4. People with nice cars (BMW, Jaguar, etc) piss me off, because let's be honest, you are just shoving it in people's faces that you have a lot of money.  Sorry if that is judgemental - but again, my blog, my rules.

5. My kid is ginormous, but she is eating less than she should be.  How does that work? 

6. I am so tired of Sharon Angle vs. Harry Reid.  I'm voting for Fred Flinstone.

7. I still like my husband.

8. I'm tired of my dog jumping on my head at 3:45 a.m., but I don't have the heart or the sanity to put her in a cage.  I know, I'm a softie.

9. Some people should not be on HD shows.  Sir, you look 100 years old and you are wearing lipstick. 

First UNLV tailgate this weekend - sweet!  Then Labor Day celebration on Sunday at Mary's.  I have Monday off, but Michael doesn't - sad panda.  I'll be playing video games while Naomi is napping, though!

I must go do my homework now.  Is it sad that I am excited about doing homework again?  I'm sure it will go away within the next couple of weeks.

Until next time - in the meantime, ponder this thought: "How did someone come up with the name 'Platypus'?"  Talk amongst yourselves.